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Old 01-20-2007, 05:32 PM   #1
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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory has a place in the warmest part of my heart and the deepest part of my imagination. It burns with never ending inspiration.

It isn't easy to destroy one's childhood dreams. But Tim Burton is up to the challenge.

Burton's abomination is soulless, heartless and devoid of anything that matters. Depp is a caricature of a caricature created by someone who doesn't understand life, much less the insane whimsey and Wild(er) genius that the original movie was infused with.

Mr. Burton, I want my one hundred and fifteen minutes back.
I want this experience erased from my consciousness, my heart, my soul.
I want an apology and your resignation from filmmaking.

No, not filmmaking—film-devastation.

Wait, not film-devastation—film-desolation.

Dam you Mr. Burton, dam you to hell, permanently strapped to a dentist's chair with a doctor cursed with the shakes and a industrial strength drill that hasn't been cleaned since the invention of root canals!
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