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Old 08-09-2004, 09:58 AM   #1
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Miscellaneous

"Your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or or not."
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Old 11-23-2004, 04:54 PM   #2
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Re: Miscellaneous

"Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see."
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Old 11-23-2004, 04:54 PM   #3
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Re: Miscellaneous

"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either."
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Old 11-23-2004, 04:56 PM   #4
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Re: Miscellaneous

"The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well."
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Old 11-23-2004, 04:56 PM   #5
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Re: Miscellaneous

"Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:10 PM   #6
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Re: Miscellaneous

"Vote early and vote often." —Al Capone
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:11 PM   #7
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Re: Miscellaneous

"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?"
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:11 PM   #8
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Re: Miscellaneous

"I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:17 PM   #9
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Re: Miscellaneous

"One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:17 PM   #10
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Re: Miscellaneous

"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:17 PM   #11
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Re: Miscellaneous

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:18 PM   #12
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Re: Miscellaneous

"Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:18 PM   #13
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Re: Miscellaneous

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." —Napoleon Bonaparte
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:18 PM   #14
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Re: Miscellaneous

"A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:19 PM   #15
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Re: Miscellaneous

"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:19 PM   #16
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Re: Miscellaneous

"A waist is a terrible thing to mind."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:19 PM   #17
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Re: Miscellaneous

"So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:20 PM   #18
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Re: Miscellaneous

"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them." —Galileo Galilei
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:22 PM   #19
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Re: Miscellaneous

"Lack of money is the root of all evil."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:22 PM   #20
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Re: Miscellaneous

"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:23 PM   #21
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Re: Miscellaneous

"The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible." —Albert Einstein
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:23 PM   #22
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Re: Miscellaneous

"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:24 PM   #23
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Re: Miscellaneous

"The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:24 PM   #24
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Re: Miscellaneous

"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:24 PM   #25
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Re: Miscellaneous

"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:25 PM   #26
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Re: Miscellaneous

"The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:25 PM   #27
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Re: Miscellaneous

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'"
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:26 PM   #28
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Re: Miscellaneous

"Punctuality is the virtue of the bored."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:26 PM   #29
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Re: Miscellaneous

"Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:27 PM   #30
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Re: Miscellaneous

"All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:27 PM   #31
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Re: Miscellaneous

"I've gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller's parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:27 PM   #32
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Re: Miscellaneous

"The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:28 PM   #33
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Re: Miscellaneous

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." —Dan Quayle
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:28 PM   #34
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Re: Miscellaneous

"Familiarity breeds contempt - and children."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:29 PM   #35
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Re: Miscellaneous

"Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there."
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Old 11-23-2004, 05:30 PM   #36
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Re: Miscellaneous

"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it."
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Old 12-10-2004, 10:20 AM   #37
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Re: Miscellaneous

"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the girl sitting next to me."
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Old 01-28-2005, 05:12 PM   #38
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Re: Miscellaneous

"Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy."
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Old 02-23-2005, 10:58 AM   #39
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Re: Miscellaneous

"Sometimes people carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem."
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Old 04-08-2005, 01:38 PM   #40
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Jon Lithgow

"Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug."
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Old 04-12-2005, 11:07 AM   #41
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Douglas Adams

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
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Old 09-26-2005, 11:01 AM   #42
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Doctor Who

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"
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Old 11-08-2005, 10:44 AM   #43
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Re: Miscellaneous

"The point of quotations is that one can use another's words to be insulting." —Amanda Cross

"You guys suck!" —Eric Cartman
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Old 01-03-2006, 12:38 PM   #44
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William Gibson

"The future is here. It's just not widely distributed yet."
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Old 01-09-2006, 10:44 AM   #45
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Mark Twain

"Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable."
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Old 02-06-2006, 10:27 AM   #46
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Re: Miscellaneous

"I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter."
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Old 07-31-2006, 10:06 AM   #47
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Thomas A. Edison

"Hell, there are no rules here— we're trying to accomplish something."
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Old 09-28-2006, 09:38 AM   #48
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George Burns

"I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect."
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Old 10-23-2006, 10:24 AM   #49
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George Burns

"I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life."
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Old 11-20-2006, 11:29 AM   #50
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Henny Youngman

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
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