Miscellaneous

[Lecter]

"Your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or or not."

[Lecter]

"Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see."

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"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either."

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"The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well."

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"Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something."

[Lecter]

"Vote early and vote often." —Al Capone

[Lecter]

"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?"

[Lecter]

"I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them."

[Lecter]

"One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time."

[Lecter]

"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."

[Lecter]

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field."

[Lecter]

"Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else."

[Lecter]

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." —Napoleon Bonaparte

[Lecter]

"A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic."

[Lecter]

"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population."

[Lecter]

"A waist is a terrible thing to mind."

[Lecter]

"So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work."

[Lecter]

"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them." —Galileo Galilei

[Lecter]

"Lack of money is the root of all evil."

[Lecter]

"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it."

[Lecter]

"The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible." —Albert Einstein

[Lecter]

"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you."

[Lecter]

"The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease."

[Lecter]

"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."

[Lecter]

"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."

[Lecter]

"The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be."

[Lecter]

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'"

[Lecter]

"Punctuality is the virtue of the bored."

[Lecter]

"Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it."

[Lecter]

"All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind."

[Lecter]

"I've gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller's parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her."

[Lecter]

"The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."

[Lecter]

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." —Dan Quayle

[Lecter]

"Familiarity breeds contempt - and children."

[Lecter]

"Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there."

[Lecter]

"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it."

[Lecter]

"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the girl sitting next to me."

[Lecter]

"Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy."

[Lecter]

"Sometimes people carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem."

[Lecter]

"Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug."

[Lecter]

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

[Lecter]

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

[Lecter]

"The point of quotations is that one can use another's words to be insulting." —Amanda Cross

"You guys suck!" —Eric Cartman

[Lecter]

"The future is here. It's just not widely distributed yet."

[Lecter]

"Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable."

[Lecter]

"I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter."

[Lecter]

"Hell, there are no rules here— we're trying to accomplish something."

[Lecter]

"I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect."

[Lecter]

"I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life."

[Lecter]

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."

[Lecter]

"A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself because he can't help himself."

[Lecter]

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one."

[Lecter]

"There is so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?"

[Lecter]

"I am a deeply superficial person."

[Lecter]

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day.

“In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right."

[Lecter]

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."

[Lecter]

"The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated."

[Lecter]

"In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."

[Lecter]

"The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution."

[Lecter]

"Television is a medium because anything well done is rare."

[Lecter]

You are too concerned with what was and what will be.

Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is a mystery.

But today is a gift.

That is why it is called "present."

[Lecter]

"A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats."

[Lecter]

"Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side."